Exercise:
Get a notebook and write across it, big and bold, My Book of Positive Aspects.  Whatever is bugging you at the moment, title a page for this, “Positive Aspects of _________.” Then write whatever you like about the person, place, or situation. As you do this, your feeling about the subject will start to shift and so will your point of attraction—i.e., you won’t resonate with the stuff you don’t like because you’re only looking at the stuff you do. Sometimes you might be in such a tight-feeling, nasty spot that all you can think to write is, “she has pretty hair” or “at least I don’t miss him (i.e., if he weren’t here).” Whatever you come up with, work on shifting your energy about that subject. Do this daily and eventually, you will be so focused on what you like that you will no longer notice what you do not, because you will not be a match to it!

        

Dear Friend,
 
Well, I met two of my three goals for my first marathon on Sunday, October 26th.  I met my fundraising minimum--that's one--and two, I finished the 33rd annual Marine Corps Marathon (cowbells should ring here).  It took over six hours, but my sister Laura and I were able to do it, most of the time with her dragging my butt when I got tired or cranky, which was often.
 
We started off well, but soon Laura was already going too fast for me.  Remember, we trained separately, she has done a marathon before and is a lot fitter than I, so I was having trouble keeping up with her.  So I told her to go ahead of me and I'd meet up with her.  NO GO!  We were going to do this together.  So we agreed to do my regular run/walk regimen of 5:1 (5 min running followed by 1 min walking).  Even that, though, became challenging after a while and I started to pant.  Laura noticed me panting and pronounced that I was not breathing correctly and she proceeded to talk me through correct breathing practices.  I thought I might kill her or at least smack her but I didn't want to get stressed so I tried to follow her instructions.  Not surprisingly, I got really stressed out in only a few miles--between trying to breathe correctly and hearing my sister tell me I'm just "like Mami," I thought I might flip but I was OK.  Now, I think my mother is awesome, but it's never helpful when your sibling tells you, "You're just like Mami!"  The topic is too loaded, the relationship too close, it's bad form, all that stuff...  My neuroses took over and we were around mile 8.
 
I guess it makes sense that we'd drive each other somewhat crazy, going through an activity like this with a close family member as we were.  I've heard of marathon weddings but now after this experience, I'm sure that those couples must get "divorced" at least once sometime between miles 8 and 26.  Laura was great, though.  Everytime I told her she was annoying me, she gave me permission to tell her off or smack her or whatever AFTER we crossed the finish line.  Until then, she was going to do her best to get us there... well, how do you argue with that?
 
In any case, Laura solved my breathing problem finally with a brilliant idea.  She suggested that we sing, so sing we did.  We sang disco songs, musical theatre songs from shows like Chicago, Gypsy, etc, pop songs, Disney music.  Sometimes she'd sing something I didn't know and I'd la-la-la along with her and vice versa.  Once Laura's friend Heather was on the sidelines and decided to accompany us down a hill.  While they chatted, I burst into a beautiful rendition of "Being Alive" from Company.  It was mostly beautiful because we were running downhill and then on flat terrain--that's a beautiful thing in and of itself.  Many of my uphill songs didn't sound so hot.
 
When we weren't singing or discussing my breathing and who was more like Mami, we'd chat or just enjoy the view.  The marathon course is very nice, with views of the Potomac and all the monuments.  Of course, by the halfway mark every part of my body hurt, so the views weren't doing much for me.  We met some lovely people, though, from Danielle whose knee went out and walked with us a ways, to the lady who really enjoyed musical theatre AND our singing!
 
One thing that surprised me about this whole running thing was the propensity that some of us runners have to, uh, go to the bathroom urgently while running.  In the weeks leading up to the marathon, I tried to deal with this via diet, changing my routine, etc. and finally resorted to over-the-counter help on the morning of the marathon.  It didn't work, though, so in addition to the pain in my knees, ankles, hips and back and the breathing, singing and running with my sister, I had to go potty pretty badly twice during the marathon.  The first time we were on Spout Run, a nice downhill highway.  Laura spotted a high and wide rock which would provide perfect cover.  Yay Laura!  It worked great and there were certainly many runners around us doing the same thing, which was a bit surreal.  The second time, we had already taken a pit stop at a park restroom, with nice running water and everything, and we got to stretch and refresh ourselves before starting up running again, when the urge hit and the nearest stop was a Martz tour bus that said "Marine Corps Marathon Shuttle."  The bus was empty except for the driver and her helper.  They were quick to point out that port-a-potties were close by, but I didn't think I'd make it, so they relented.  How do you say no to a desperate woman who's trying to finish a marathon?  That was the last time nature called, right after the halfway point.  Thank goodness!
 
The second half of the marathon was painful and stressful.  Everything hurt and the water stations, especially around miles 20-22, were poorly spaced and I was thirsty and hungry, munching very carefully on sourdough pretzels so that I wouldn't choke--we had very little water left.  We were walking now, and as a TNT (Team in Training) Coach, Tiff, approached us at mile 22 to see how we were doing, I honestly couldn't put a brave face on.  All I could think of was how thirsty I was, how much it hurt to keep putting one foot in front of the other and how there were a little over 4 miles to go.   Also, I was swollen from the shoulders on down to my fingers.  That's a sign of dehydration, which salt packets (ie ones from McDonald's, etc) are good for.  I'd been downing salt packets all morning and the night before but still got the swelling.  As we approached Tiff, we had decided to have salt at the upcoming hydration stations.  I woefully showed Tiff my fingers and hands and he immediately offered me some salt.  I responded that I had some and shuffled around in my pockets for the baggy with the packets.  Laura had a habit almost the whole time of walking ahead of me, which didn't bother me usually.  At this point, though, I offered the baggy with the salt to Laura, thinking she would take a packet and give me back the bag.  Instead, she trotted ahead toward the water station with it, thinking I was right behind her.  That was it!
 
I turned toward Tiff and tearfully said, "she took the salt!"  Then I just burst into tears, it was all too much.  Tiff just kept saying, "I have salt, take salt, I have salt, here's some salt."  I took the salt he offered and just downed it without even getting water yet.  Intense pain, panting, swelling, chafing, having to go to the bathroom--none of these things made me cry.  SALT made me cry.  Apparently this is known as hitting the Wall.
 
Sometime during this meltdown Laura turned around and noticed I wasn't behind her, then saw me freaking out and came back to comfort me.  I couldn't even tell her why I was crying, I was just blubbering, "Why am I crying?  What's wrong with me?  I can't believe I'm having a meltdown, this is not the time!" At this point I wailed even more, then I tried to rationalize to them that "I am a [sniffle sniffle] life coach!  [gasp] I moti-motiva-motivate people... I don't know what is going on with me!"  Then I cried a little harder and eventually it passed.  I probably would have cracked up laughing if I were they, but both Tiff and Laura were very sweet and understanding.
 
Once I was breathing more evenly, medicated with Tylenol (given out at the water station) and hydrated with Powerade and water and salt, Tiff left us to help some of my other teammates and Laura and I were left to each other for the last 4 miles.  I felt curiously neutral and very grateful to Laura and to my coaches and I realized that I was going to finish a marathon.  Wow.
 
We walked and ran, walked and ran, walked and ran and aside from thanking Laura for her consistent "You're doing great" comments and returning them to her, we didn't say much except for "OK, let's run now" or "I need to walk now."  Around mile 24, Laura turned to me and said, "that meltdown did you some good, didn't it?"  I replied happily, "Yes!  I wish I could have had it during mile 1!  Let's power walk!"  I felt just dandy, considering I was in serious pain.  Maybe it was endorphins that took over?
 
Finally we're on the long highway stretch between mile 25 and 26.  The finish line was so close, we're so happy to be almost there and Laura said, "Want to sing again?"  Did I ever?  Of course!!  As some other coaches approached us to see how we were, they got to hear some "Summer Lovin" from Grease, meet my big sister and then just give me some last minute pointers on how to get up that final hill--yes, you read right, mile 26 to 26.2 was very stupid and steep--and finish.
 
So we tiki-tikied up the hill (my coach's term for uphill technique) and as it flattened out I could hear Maria, Angel, Emily, Isabel, Ralphy, Angelina, Maggie and Teresa screaming our names as we saw the finish line ahead of us!  Laura was racing up to it but I was calling out, "Wait!  Please!"  And she kept saying, "Push yourself, we're there!  Come on!"  So I pushed and pushed and soon enough I was on the other side, asking anyone who'd listen, "Are we done?  Is it over?"  I was a little delirious, I think.  Then I burst into tears all over again, and instead of smacking or telling Laura off, I grabbed onto her and hugged her and thanked her and cried all over the poor tired woman.  She laughed and just kept telling me, "Don't thank me, YOU DID IT!  YOU DID IT!  You just ran a marathon!"  To which I just blubbered, "Oh my God, I ran a marathon!  Thank you thank you thank you thank you!"
 
And that's where I'll leave my account.  As always, from the bottom of my heart, I thank YOU for your support!

Best,
Gladys Perez

        

How many of you are following your passions in your daily lives? Perhaps a better question might be, how many of you know what you are passionate about? There are all kinds of passions--your passion for raising horses may not correspond with your love of being an investment banker (and if you love being one of these, more power to you! While the financial markets may not be so kind to bankers these days, historically it makes sense to love it as much as you can and when you retire at 35 or 40, raise all the horses you want!!), but it is very helpful to integrate passion into your purpose. How do you figure out these questions of purpose and passion? And how does what you do in your life figure in to what you want to achieve?
 
It takes some introspection to figure out what you are passionate about, and therefore what your true purpose is, but once you do, that knowledge serves as a guiding force that will help keep you on the track that will get you to your goals.  If you don't know you have a deep desire to climb Mt. Everest, how will you ever know to start training to get there?  You can't just go tomorrow--it takes physical and psychological training and preparation. Similarly, if your ultimate goal is to find lasting inner peace and joyous, unshakable happiness no matter what’s going on around you (yes, it is possible), these take work as well, deep inner work that requires just as much sweat and courage as climbing a mountain does.  A driving desire to get anywhere is the first step toward the destination.  Having a path laid out, so you have guideposts when life throws you all kinds of curves, is a sure way to stick to the plan and arrive at the end-result that you are wanting.
 
So what do you want?  When you are clear about the "what," the "hows" show themselves in various ways.  Below are some exercises that might help you to discover not only what your passions are, but also how you can integrate them into your life purpose.
 
   1.      List some things that make you uniquely "you."  If you have trouble, ask at least three people the question, "What makes me uniquely me?" If you can and if it is appropriate, try to make one of the people a family member that you know will be brutally honest (pretend you are writing an article about someone with your same name--do NOT take things personally in this exercise--save the discussions for later).  You will get many clues from this exercise (I sure did when I asked my mother!).

   2.      List your personal interests and activities you enjoy (playing baseball, looking at real estate, investing in the stock market, an interest in politics, etc.).

   3.      List some of the things that excite you or that you value most.  It's OK to include money, but do not limit your list to that (ie, time with friends, growing your business, helping people, religion or spiritual pursuits, having fun with spouse, etc).

   4.      What'll it take to make these qualities and values a part of your daily life?

This is important for you in manifesting what you want in your life.  When you do the personal work to clear the way, the path will not only show itself, but you will see obstacles as opportunities along the way instead of dwelling on them.  Dwelling on things only creates more of the same, so keep your eyes on the prize and feel good about your focus!  Remember, life is full of contrast that serves to help you hone what it is you REALLY want and getting happy keeps you in line to get more of what that is.  The guideposts you create now to integrate your passion into your life purpose will keep you on track to creating the life you have always wanted!

More to be posted on this soon...

        

Many times when people are in states of high stress, it is because they are reacting to circumstances in their lives that they have no control over.  Our tendency is to lay blame on these circumstances for how stressed out we feel.  That's certainly an understandable reaction, but what is really going on when we base our peace of mind on outside events?
 
Whether we are dealing with a difficult co-worker or spouse, or even some natural "craziness" like bad weather, we need to be aware that our actions (including our REactions) are choices, conscious or not.  When you realize this and acknowledge it, you are able to begin the cultivation of awareness.  If you keep in mind that the only thing you can control is yourself, then your consciousness will not only make you feel more empowered and proactive, but will also open you up to solutions and ways to successfully navigate through your challenges.  Here are three tips to help you along on this journey.

1.     Go inside.  Whenever you are in a stressful situation, try to take a moment to close your eyes and focus inward.  Know that the only thing you HAVE to do next is something that you do automatically, whether you want to or not.  That something is BREATHING.  Like everything in life, the stressful situation will pass--acknowlege that.  Allow yourself the gift of focusing on the present moment and see what that yields you.  Many times it will yield clarity and calm, and other times it is a great way to pass the time until the traffic jam clears.  Now doesn't that beat moaning and groaning about how it sucks to be you?

2.    Make another choice.  Think through these questions: What is causing the stress--is it a fight (ie I'm right, you're wrong!), your annoying boss (everything she does drives you crazy), your money situation?  What would happen if you acknowledged your part in the stressful situation and looked at it from the position that this is something you chose?  Could you then make a different choice?  For example, are you willing to imagine that you could both be right, that your boss might have a good reason for behaving the way she does, that you might be 100% responsible for your money situation?  As painful as these may sound, they can help to unlock some of the stuckness we get into and open us up to more positive outcomes.

3.    Write it down.  For me, when you do stream of consciousness writing, you might decide on 3 pages of writing in advance or you might just write until there's no more in you.  I like to approach it in this way: do not lift your pen from the page if you get momentarily blank or confused.  You might write, "I don't know what to write, I don't know what to write," over and over again, until something else comes out and the stream begins again.  Or you could just write until you don't want to anymore, whether you are done or not.  You know best.

This week, try to spend at least 5 minutes a day (you can set a timer), practicing going inside, making different choices (what if you say YES to that action movie that your husband keeps trying to get you to go see?), and writing down your feelings.  You may be pleasantly surprised at what comes up for you.  

        

        

In the midst of all the running around lately, working with clients, creating new seminars and marketing workshops both old and new, I recently experienced the uncomfortably familiar recognition that I have been burning the candle at both ends.  Staying up late into the night working, then running around during the day to meetings and squeezing in convenient, but not necessarily healthy, meals when I can, are all activities that add up to indigestion, stress and exhaustion.  This is not conducive to peak performance, do you agree?  I've always had this tendency: I'm one of those people that waits until the last minute to finish tasks, that thrives under pressure, that squeezes as much in as possible.  And I get a lot done--can anyone say "entrepreneur?" 
 
Sounds funny, right?  Yes, I'm an entrepreneur, have tremendous amounts of energy and that is wonderful!  The challenge that I have always faced, and that many others face, is balance.  We might be very active and busy and not think or remember to give ourselves enough down time.  After burning the candle at both ends for extended periods, we often come down with something or some events happen to slow us down, whether we like it or not.  Some people get asthma attacks and end up in the hospital, some get the flu and much-needed rest that way.  For my part, I used to have allergy flare-ups and colds, but these incidents have become rarer and rarer since I started noticing when my energy goes off-balance.  Lately, though, when my energy has been engaged too much in "doing" and too little "being," my tendency is to fall -- yes, literally fall down on the pavement!  I've had two ankle sprains in the past 6 weeks and have a couple of scrapes on my right elbow and knee as I write this.  It's back to meditation and journaling for me!
 
Our energy levels can be amazing indicators for us.  We all have different thresholds and need to know that awareness of our stress levels and emotions is key to getting back into balance.  You can notice the signs of when you are feeling "off" and many times head off whatever sickness or calamity you might have been attracting.  Your body and your emotions are always communicating with you!  When I stop to take notice, I can literally track and stop the progression of my lowering defenses.  Caroline Myss illustrates this beautifully in Anatomy of the Spirit, saying "your biography--that is, the experiences that make up your life--becomes your biology."  Given this, it stands to reason that when you do not manage your emotions, experience too much stress (which pumps adrenaline and all kinds of other chemicals into your body) and neglect processing the troubling or repressed emotions (so that the adrenaline, cortisol, etc. cannot dissipate), the result is a compromised system. 
 
So consider this: if you are aware of and consciously process the goings-on in your life, then you can manage the ensuing emotions and, ergo, positively affect your health.
 
Some ways to manage the stresses and responsibilities in our lives are:

•    Letting ourselves feel our feelings--the only way out is through.  Like everything in the universe, emotions are energy and will pass if you don't stomp on them and try to stop or avoid them.

•    Learning to say "no," especially if it's to someone or something that you are not sure of.  When you're overworked and overstressed, "no" is a beautiful practice to get into and gives you the power of decision in your own life.

•    Surrounding ourselves with support systems, which can range from our daily meditation to our gym habit to our weekly chat with an old friend.  These are created and determined by you and can be a huge advantage in dealing with daily stresses and having tremendous tasks and responsbilities to deal with. 

The preceding tips are just the tip of the iceberg in this topic, but I hope they help you to gain some perspective.  My wish for you is that you notice and be aware of your state of being more often so that you can be a proactive positive force in your health and your life.

        

Many new and seasoned manifesters and practitioners of the Law of Attraction have challenges at times with managing their deliberate and conscious manifestation efforts.  Life can sometimes throw us some strange and nutty challenges which understandably affect our moods and emotions, which in turn affect our manifestation progress.  We all want abundance in every way, don't we?  All of us want more of the good stuff and less of the bad stuff.
 
Aside from things going wrong, how can we tell when we're not on track?  Below are the Top 3 Mistakes I've made and seen when working to consciously and deliberately manifest great outcomes.

1.    Viewing obstacles as calamities instead of opportunities ~ We live in an attraction-based universe, where we are constantly presented with contrasting situations that further help us to identify our true desires, whether we are conscious of it or not.  Everytime an obstacle presents itself, we have a choice as to how we perceive and receive it in our lives.  We can focus on how we do not want it in our lives and make it bigger and badder than ever (remember, what you resist, persists) OR we can focus on the bigger goal and look on the obstacle as an opportunity to gain a lesson or some valuable knowledge.

2.     Forgetting to feeeeel your way ~ No, I'm not talking about Olivia Newton-John singing "You're the One that I Want," I mean managing your emotions so that you are in a receiving state.  Here's an example: I had a participant on the free teleclass talking about how she was doing affirmations, intentions, visualizations and everything else she could think of to no avail... and her end goal was nowhere in sight.  When I asked her if she was practicing the feeling state she wanted to get to, she exclaimed, "No!  That's the missing link!"  I know it sounds crazy, but... IGNORE REALITY.  Your reality will change when you get happier, I promise.  How to get happier despite no job, car breaking down, relationships falling apart, etc?  There are many ways to do this.  One good way is "finding the feeling place," process #18 from Ask & It Is Given (see below).  Your goal in this process is to come up with images that feel good to you, that will cause you to vibrate at the place where you want to be rather than the place where you are.  When you practice doing this, you will shift your point of attraction and your experiences will shift to reflect this.

3.    Thinking that action is not necessary in Law of Attraction ~  Shifting your point of attraction is paramount in manifesting what you want in life.  When you are in a happy or positive mood and have an optimistic outlook, you are more likely to get inspired with ideas that can range from business plans to who to sell your car to, to your next vacation spot.  When you act from inspiration, your labors will be enthusiastic and seem effortless.  So your manifesting might require action, yes, but that action may very well seem to be too much fun to be called work.  If you're thinking, "must be nice, huh?" then get yourself happy and go to "work!"

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong.  Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.                      George Washington Carver

        

The most important relationship we have is the one with ourselves.  When we start to work on ourselves and on living more authentically and creatively, we may find ourselves in relationships with others whose dynamics are in direct opposition to our new and/or professed beliefs and lifestyle choices.  Maybe you are in school or working on your self in some way, shifting your attitudes and outlook on life and trying to appreciate what you are and have.  Or maybe you are working on eating differently, experimenting with different cuisines, or just trying new healing modalities or living in a more mindful way.  Sometimes, while we are undertaking these expeditions into our Selves, changing our paradigm for living, we might be surrounded by people who are still living in the old paradigm.  To them, your actions might seem “weird.” 

•    Why aren’t you fighting back when your husband or child acts like a jerk? 
•    Why didn’t it bother you when that idiot cut you off on the highway today? 
•    How could you be so calm when your job may be downsized?
•    Why are you so calm when we are all hungry – aren’t you going to hop to it and make us some dinner?

You might feel great about how you are managing yourself and your development, but how do you handle the strain and stress that can come about when you approach life in a fundamentally different way than the way you used to?  How do you handle the backlash?  The people around you, your trusted co-workers and beloved family members, may behave in ways so foreign and so abhorrent to what you are trying to accomplish and how you look at things, that a part of you cannot believe you ever liked or loved these people.  Guess what?  You STILL do like and love them, you are just in shock because they are doing whatever they can to get you to revert back to your old ways.  When those around you respond to your changed behavior by trying to reason with you or prove you wrong (ie, You don’t have to give up red meat!  My grandmother lived until she was 100 and she ate red meat every day!), you can respond by simply thanking them for their input.  Consciously or unconsciously, you have manifested this person at this moment to behave in this way, so you might as well appreciate their being there.

Sincere acknowledgment works wonders and always beats one-upmanship in the long run.  Deeply listening to and validating their concerns is soothing to those that feel they might be losing you to “weird” pursuits.  There is no need to prove them wrong or engage in a debate.  So for the example given above, you might take a deep breath and say something like this: “Wow, that’s wonderful! I hope that you were able to spend a lot of quality time with your grandmother during her long life!  Thank you for the feedback and for being so concerned with my health.  I have noticed that since I stopped/reduced my intake of red meat, I feel healthier and more energetic.”
 
There are some people that will still feel the need to argue with you (you know they’re out there!!) and convince you that you are wrong.  When people criticize you and your personal development, you should be aware that they do so because they feel threatened… if you are no longer like them, you may not like or love them anymore and they may lose you as a friend, co-worker or spouse.  Also, if you are no longer like them, you may be implicitly rejecting or criticizing how they live their lives and they may react defensively.  Again, just breathe, smile and respond to their stated opinion with a “thank you” once or twice.  Then change the subject or end the conversation.  Sometimes responding in this way is easier said than done.  I once heard someone in a class say, “If you think you are enlightened, try visiting your family for a weekend!”  At the time I thought I was enlightened, but I was quickly proved wrong by Thanksgiving weekend.  Some people bring out the firecracker in us, but realize that no matter how much fire they are piling on, you can choose how to respond!
 
In a perfect world, we would all be able to have our views and at the same time feel respected, supported and unconditionally loved.  When you feel the people around you are making you feel disrespected, unsupported and unlovable, it is to your distinct advantage to realize, as quickly as possible, that these feelings coursing through you are coming from YOU, NOT THEM.  You have the power to change your feelings, just as you have the power to change the thoughts behind those feelings.  Sometimes we need to provide the respect, support and love that we are seeking from others, to ourselves.  When you are able to do this and really treat yourself as treasured and beloved, then others will follow suit.  Your taking complete responsibility for your feelings means that people’s comments will no longer bother you as they once did (or do), you will stop blaming others when you feel bad, and you will feel like you have nothing to prove—because you don’t!
 
Remember, feelings are never wrong or right.  They just are.  We all have different ways of seeing the world—this is part of what makes the planet so interesting and what makes us constantly want more and expand and grow.  Taking responsibility for your life means that you recognize your vibration or energy as yours and the people’s around you as theirs.  Think of it this way: if the universe is a big kitchen and we’re all making pies, do we all have to make the same pie?  No!  That would be so boring, right?  If you were making a cherry pie, you would not let your neighbor in the kitchen (your mother, your spouse, your child) throw apples or anchovies into your cherry pie, would you?  You would choose ingredients that make an awesome cherry pie, like plump dark cherries and rich butter, the best quality flour, among other things.
 
Sometimes, while we're busy making our cherry pie, we constantly look over to see how our mother’s pumpkin pie or our boss’ shepherd’s pie is going and see if they're doing it "right."  Maybe we decide that they don't really know what they're doing and we throw some cherries in their pies (They work so well in our pie, right?), whether they ask for them or not.  This is part of your growth process--knowing that where you are going is right for you is not necessarily right for those around you.  While we're busily involved in other people's pies, how do you think our cherry pie is faring?
 
Self-care means you take care of yourself and make your pie as best you can!  Only when your pie is in optimal shape can you have the energy and reserves to help others with their pies (if they ask for it!).  When other people try to convince you that their pies are better and try to throw their ingredients into your pie, you can feel free to remove their ingredients and hand them back to them with a smile and thanks.  They might feel offended, but you cannot control their feelings now or ever.  The only thing you can know is that the more you attend to your pie, the more compassionate and loving you will end up being in the long run, which others around you will benefit from and which will inspire them to attend to their own pies as well.  

We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.            Jim Rohn

        

What comes to mind when you hear the term, "self-care?"  Usually, I think of topics that are very much in vogue these days, like eating right, getting enough exercise and rest, and finding time to relax and unwind.  Since my focus is on creativity and manifestation, I was thinking about how to mesh self-care with the idea that our worlds are a reflection of what's going on inside us.  It seems to me that if everything in our lives is a manifestation that we have consciously or unconsciously created, then a very direct method of gauging where we are headed is to examine our physical environment: where we live, work, and what we surround ourselves with.  Once we look around at what we have created, we can choose both how to respond to our environments more constructively, AND consciously shift our focus and awareness to include more of what we want and less of what we don't want.
 
What constitutes your physical environment?  Many people's answer to this will be, "my home" or "my office.”  If they could speak, what would these places say about or to you?  How do you feel when you enter these environments?  How do others feel when they come into your space?
 
Many people these days have issues with "stuff."  There is a lot of stuff all over the place and, being much more active and exposed to the world than our parents and grandparents, we have many more opportunities to accumulate mass quantities of stuff, from books to magazines to clothes to collectibles that may no longer stir your heart.  Is your “stuff” a source of overwhelm or of peace?  Too often, we find ourselves tolerating situations at home and at work that can range from stress-inducing (piles of papers) to potentially hazardous (piles of boxes!).
 
The way you keep your space says a lot about the status of your mind and heart—and I don’t mean the way Albert Einstein put it: “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk?”  Einstein was a genius—and apparently a funny guy—and reputedly had an extremely messy desk.  I guess it worked for him, but it doesn’t for most of my clients and surely not for me.  For many people, seeing their mess gives them both headache and heartache!  What goes through your head when you see the mess at the foot of your bed or on your table or desk, day in and day out?  Do you feel a sense of calm, as if you have entered a sanctuary where you can relax and feel peaceful and/or productive?  Or do you feel a constriction in your chest or a hollow in the pit of your stomach as your eyes fall on the mess?  How does it affect you when it just pops into your mind? 
 
Self-care means more than working out and eating right.  It means treating yourself like someone that you love.  Let's say you have a great relationship with your mother and she is coming over for some rest and relaxation: you want her to experience peace during her stay, so wouldn’t you want your home to be neat and orderly for her?  If you have clients coming to your office, wouldn’t you want them to feel able to sit on your guest chair and not have to crane their necks to see you over the piles on your desk?  How much peace and welcome do you believe you deserve? 
 
If you don’t think you are worth making an effort for, think again.  This is not about recrimination and self-flagellation.  Self-care as applied to your environment is about deciding to create a space that you will feel joyful and peaceful in.  Your mess is no accident, did you know that?  You are getting something out of it and your job is to figure out what that "something" is.  While you figure that out, you can work on shifting the tone of your feelings around the situation.  Start positively changing your environment by changing the thoughts around the pattern, from "I'm so lazy and unfocused" to "I'm going to take this little by little and get it done--the mess wasn't created in a day and it won't go away in a day!  I'm doing the best I can!"  From this place, you start experiencing results and this virtuous cycle will continue.
 
This week, think about what is stopping you from ensuring that your environment is a nurturing and supportive one.  You might consider these questions:

1.    How would you feel if you never had to stress about the mess again?
2.    What would it mean to you if the mess was no longer an excuse or distraction to attaining your goals?
3.    Would this provoke anxiety or relief?  Why?

These questions will be eye-opening for you if you let them.  It's not always the case that we consider our physical environments to be a reflection of our self-love, but it makes sense, doesn't it?  Be patient with yourself as you delve into your habits and examine what you've created thus far... and remind yourself that every day is another chance for a new beginning.

        

How do you feel when you have an opportunity to do or be something that you've been meaning to do or become for a long while?  Let's say you used to love riding your bicycle but lately, you've let yourself go and you feel out of shape.  Then you find out about a great bike race that's happening  in 5 days (yikes!) and you think, "wow!  I've ALWAYS wanted to ride in a bike race!  I wonder if I can make it!"  So you take your dusty bike outside, fill the tires with air, and go riding in your neighborhood.  To your chagrin, you are not only winded after a few blocks, but your legs are killing you!  There's no way you are going 1 mile in 5 days, let along 40 miles!  So you make a promise to yourself that you'll be in next year's bike race, come hell or high water!
 
HOW are you going to make sure that you deliver on that promise?  Below you'll find 7 simple tips to help keep you on track:

1.    Get a buddy ~ Having someone to share your struggles and victories with increases the likelihood that you will do what you set out to do and it keeps you accountable to someone else.

2.    Map it out ~  A mind map is a visual and non-linear representation of your goal and the steps you will take to get there.  Start by drawing a circle in the middle of the page, with the goal (ie, the bike race and the date) written inside.  From there, branch out to more circles.  Maybe one circle will be physical, another can be logistics (like signing up for the race), another can be support from friends, and so on.  Post this map where you can see it every day.  If you need help with this, contact me.

3.    Write it out ~ Write a letter to your mom or any older and well-meaning relative who would love to hear your great news and date it December 31st of the year you'd like to finally get this skill learned or this thing done.  In the letter, talk about how you completed whatever it is that you are working on after years of telling yourself, "one day..." and what this event entailed.  People further along in life understand better than we do how quickly time can pass and how important it is to finally do what you say you'd like to do.  Don't mail this letter, just read it every morning and night.

4.    Do it for a cause ~ if you want to ride a race, do it for cancer; if you want to do cartwheels, do a show for kids in the hospital or at an underserved school; if you want to speak a different language, learn it and volunteer to translate for crime victims.  Not everything you'd like to accomplish will fit into this, but you get my drift, I think.

5.    Set a timetable ~ Maybe the skill you want to learn and integrate is not as clear-cut as a bike race.  It's helpful, though, to set where you want to be and by when.  If you want to speak French--in Paris, for example, you might want to set a travel date for a year from now and start with Beginning French.  By next year, you will probably have finished Intermediate French (if not Advanced!).

6.    Create a mantra ~ A mantra is a word or phrase that you can repeat to yourself, either in a meditative capacity (ie, breathe in to I AM, breathe out to AT PEACE) or as a reminder to yourself to get centered and focused.  One of the phrases I like to tell myself when faced with an activity that I'll benefit from but don't feel like doing at the moment (ie, exercise, getting out of bed to meditate or pray, etc.) is, "This is an act of self-love."  This mantra fits any activity, from going to a training session to prepare for your marathon to leaving home so that you get to work 10 minutes early.  It's a reminder that you deserve to feel happy, peaceful and proud of yourself ALL the time.

7.    Work with a coach or join a group ~ These methods are helpful in a way similar to the buddy system, but they tend to be more effective.  A coach is specially trained to help you blast away internal and external obstacles that might be in your way to achieving your goals or figuring out what you really want.  Also, when you invest time and money in yourself,  whether for individual or group coaching, your commitment level goes up as well, increasing the effectiveness of the work.